Going to Autism Delaware’s coffee hour has given me more than I ever thought it would. At first it was just the first step in being less isolated. More than that, though, it has answered questions, shown me that every parent’s journey is different, and reminded me of how far our son has come.

We lived in a rural part of Virginia from the time our son, Robert, was two until he was seven. Our twin daughters were born when he was three and a half. It was easy to be isolated. When we moved to Delaware there were more people and more things to do, but still, with twin toddlers you don’t get out much. When the girls started first grade last fall, I started going to the Autism Delaware coffee hour held the first Tuesday morning of every month at Prince on Delaware.

Every time I go I learn something new or begin to think of something in a different way. Everyone has so many of the same experiences, yet each parent is on their own unique journey. And everyone is at a different point of the process. There are parents who have a child recently diagnosed and enrolled in DAP. There are parents with issues affecting their adult children. No matter what age your child is, you’ll probably find a parent with a child the same age, concerned about many of the same things you are.

There’s a wealth of knowledge in all those experiences. You might not get all the answers you want, but you’ll certainly get a starting point:

Need to know more about group homes? Call this organization.

Want to find out who can really help you with transportation issues? Call this person.

Have concerns about a new medication the doctor has prescribed? Oh, our son takes that medication. . .

Want to take your child to church, but worry about him being disruptive? There’s a church that has a special service . . .

You also learn much about how parents deal with an autistic child as a couple. Some parents form a strong united front and tackle each obstacle together. Others are on their own, with little or no support from the child’s other parent. Everyone has a story; many stories, actually.

Listening to all the stories has shown me that parenting an autistic child is a lifelong process that starts off as very difficult, but for most becomes easier. It has also reminded me of how far Robert has come in the past four years. I recently heard parents talking about how their daughter becomes very stressed and upset at large family gatherings. I’d forgotten how Robert used to be the same way, but now he not only can handle large gatherings, he really has fun at them. I listen to the frustration in parents’ voices as they discuss toileting problems and remember that I also used to think our son would never be toilet trained, but he has been for the past two years. We are amazed at how far he has come in a relatively short time.

All of this knowledge and experience has led me to feel connected not only to the autism community, but to the entire community. It has also given us hope for the future. Connection and hope – two things that we didn’t have for so long, but do now.

Choices

Come Out and Play